“But do you know what the main thing is?
- The light breathing!”
Ivan Bunin
Let’s imagine a lady who wants to be attractive for men and takes her efforts to find a mate. What does she do? She recalls the tips that she heard on TV and read in magazines: she dresses up displaying her sexuality, makes use of make-up, perfectly arranges her hair, and then she directs her steps to the places where she can meet a future husband: night clubs, sport bars, golf, and gym.
Sometimes her relationships last one or two nights. Sometimes she meets someone who is not her Prince Charming, but at least he likes her.
She wishes to become something special. She wants to be interesting not for the short period of time. What does she overlook?
What is that thing that can make her exceptional for men? What is that thing that can make men to do everything to be with her?
Ivan Bunin, the Russian poet and short story writer, called it as the “light breathing” in one of his stories that I had a chance to read.
I was a young girl that time. I wanted to understand…no, not just understand. I wanted to feel what it means. Why is the “light breathing” the main thing in woman’s beauty?
I decided to explore this subject (I always try to figure out everything myself.)
I began watching girls and women. I paid attention how men reacted on their behaviour, manners, clothes, and speech.
I noticed that they could impress with their outward appearance or attract with big breast, slim figure, and other female part of the bodies. But I thought that all these things provoke sexual attraction in men, not exalted feelings. I was absolutely sure that Ivan Bunin meant something else…something that distinguishes an ordinary woman from an exceptional one.
I continued my search.
I got a sense of it for the first time when once I talked to a man who was in love with me. I asked him what makes me different from others. That what he answered:
I can tell you about usual things like body and hair. But that is not essential. I love your sincerity, openness, charm…Ya, charm is very important. As well, the light coming from your eyes and kindness – from your smile. The ability to listen to me carefully and understand me. Your tactfulness. Your great insight and wisdom. And I love that I can be myself with you.
Surprisingly…I had never thought about all these things at that time. It sounded so simple and complicated simultaneously.
It is simple when you follow your heart and feel what a man’s heart desires. But it is complicated when you pay attention only to outward attributes of beauty and invented instructions.
Ivan Bunin brilliantly described the “light breathing” this way:
How carefully some of her friends had their hair done, how cleanly they were, how they watched their restrained movements. But she was not afraid of anything – nor ink stains on her fingers, nor redden face, nor disheveled hair or bared knee when she fell down while running. Without any concerns and efforts everything that distinguished her from other gymnasium girls, had come to her – elegance, craftiness, serene glitter in her eyes…
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I think Bunin said with eloquence how a woman can achieve the desire of men and admiration of honest, sincere woman, by merely being themselves, first and foremost. But despite Bunin’s articulate and poetic words, the man who once loved you made more clear the essence of being who you are while garnering the affection of one, particular man. While your true person is being reflected through kindness, sincerity, and charm you also ‘listened to him carefully’ and seemed to ‘understand him’ which is a world apart from what most modern woman are willing to do. That alone will make you light years more attractive to a real man than anything you wear or how you do your hair. The size of your breasts and the name on your designer jeans is of no importance, what-so-ever to a real man of character. You were able to make this man feel that he could ‘be himself’ around you because you were yourself around him. How wonderfully simple is that equation.
Richard, thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Very interesting and correct you pointed out about equation (harmony) that is the basis of strong relationships not only with others but foremost with yourself.
Maybe in today’s culture, too many of us struggle with the ‘self’ portion of relationships. While the world teaches the importance of serving one’s own wants, needs and desires, it fails to acknowledge that the escence of getting what you want is learned through helping others to get what they need. I believe that harmony comes from finding and filling the needs of those who are important to you.
Light breathing-I practice that every day. And also treading lightly on the earth.
Stimulating thoughts, as always.
Light treading on the earth? Sounds like a good idea. =)
Last week I was in downtown and got a thought looking at the tree put into concrete: plants feel every touch which might be delicate, gentle, or heavy. Our Earth feels a touch of every person. But what a tree might feel in the middle of downtown? what our Earth might feel under highways?
This post is so correct. Women tend to feel that acceptance is through visual means and satisfaction.
They miss the point and that is why relationships are so short these days.
They do not get it…as your post so eloquently puts is…it is about ones spirit, mind and heart. Those are the things of substance.
A stripper gets paid to be noticed, accepted and satsfied through a visual relationship. They do not get married or find a relationship of heart that way.
The whole provocative and body image ideas are all set up for marketeers to make money.
None of it is about reality and relationships of worth.
When two people can have a relationship of the mind and heart then and only then can they have a true healthy life together!
P.S…you are so right…what happens to us externally is about the universe and is totally out of our control.
Thank you dearly for you kind comment!
P.S. Dorothy, that is not what I meant.
This is quite a poignant piece and I enjoyed my lesson for today very much!
Thank you for your insight into inner beauty as well as the aura that shines outwardly because of it.
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Light Breathing Genuine Woman is an interesting name for a blog, keep up the good work, thanks, from Berk Schneider
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