The time is coming to create intents for the 2010 year!
Your next year will be as fruitful as you intend now. Take a chance to refresh the hidden desires within your soul! And realize them next year!
It is helpful to write a letter to yourself describing your intents for the upcoming year and to include the ideas of how you will accomplish them.
First, you dream! Then, you act!
Posted in Being a Genuine Woman | 6 Comments »
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Looking at the Science of Happiness I agree with statements such as “express gratitude for what you have”, “be optimistic” and “always smile.” But there is something that bothers me.
When you play a happy part all the time, when you are optimistic all the time, you do gain the positive energy flowing into you. But a person has a variety of feelings available which are positive and negative. And all these feelings have their purpose. If we concentrate only on positive emotions while we deny negative ones, we miss something. But what do we miss? What the meaning of negative emotions?
Let’s take any kind of mechanical device. For example, an alarm system to protect a house. If there is smoke, it starts making a loud noise. It calls your attention. It tells you that something is going wrong. We draw our attention to the noise right away. No one would have a thought to ignore it pretending that everything is fine.
Let’s imagine that we will turn off the alarm system. What might happen is one day a fire will take over your house while you have no clue what is going on. The system was off – it did not make the noise.
Negative feelings have a similar role to the alarm system in your house. When something is going wrong, it calls your attention to it. Maybe you do a mistake. Maybe you are in real danger. Maybe there is better way to accomplish something.
For example, a criticism is a bad thing if it is your habit. But it is your ally when you ask yourself “why do I criticize?”
I notice with myself: when I feel like criticizing something, it is always an intuition sign that there is a better way to approach an issue. As in the case with the Science of Happiness!
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Posted in Being a Genuine Woman, Improving Quality of Life | Tagged criticism, happiness, intuition, negative emotions, negative feelings, science of happiness, sign, smile | Leave a Comment »
Every Vedruss girl was an artist in Slavic time (before Russia had adopted Christianity) – she created clothes, towels, tablecloths for herself, her chosen man and their children. Each garment was a unique piece of art. The value of these things was not only in outward beauty, but in their functionality.
A girl put her vivid feelings and images into the garments which brought luck, happiness and joy to a person who was in contact with them.
For example, a shirt made for a husband protected, inspired, and gave him comfort. A towel relaxed a person, relieved tiredness, gave strength and set the mind at rest.
Our fore mothers paid particular attention to embroidering clothes with ornaments. Through them they expressed their perception of our enigmatic world. Through them they attracted generous forces of the Nature and protected from dangerous ones.
The main purpose of embroidery was to protect.
Special symbols were used to create the meaningful pattern:
Certain parts of the clothes were decorated by embroidery such as a collar, handcuffs, and a hem because through those parts the negative energy could enter into a person.
At that time needlework was considered as magic. Presented symbols accumulated the power which our fore mothers put through their thoughts. That is the reason why they had certain techniques. For example, in cross-making the first stitch, left-to-right (which is the female side) should be closed right-to-left (male side.) It symbolized the strength of a family unity.
Colors also were very important. They were related to the protection of person’ chakras (energy centers.)
I am very impressed with the level of awareness and abilities of our fore mothers. For me ancient needlework is not just the art but the possibility to understand ancient world outlook.
I hope one day I can reach their level. =)
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Posted in Being a Genuine Woman | Tagged amazing women, art, chakras, embroidery, russia, slavic, Vedruss, women, world outlook | 3 Comments »
Assume, I do not know how to bake. If I want to become a baker, I need to see how others do it, read some recipes and eventually I need to practice baking myself.
The same tactics is used with happiness. To become happy, we need to do something we have never done before (or forgot how to do it.)
That is to change the way we view ourselves, other people and the world around us.
That’s all!
I like how Jean Liedloff demonstrated the dependence between one’s happiness and world-view:
Some small illuminations did get through to my civilization-blinded mind: for example, some concerning the concept of work. We had traded our slightly too small aluminum canoe for a much too big dugout. In this vessel, carved from a single tree, seventeen Indians at one time travelled with us. With all their baggage added to ours and everyone aboard, the vast canoe still looked rather empty. Portaging it, this time with only four or five Indians to help, over half a mile of boulders beside a large waterfall, was depressing to contemplate. It meant placing logs across the path of the canoe, and hauling it, inch by inch in the merciless sun, slipping inevitably into the crevices between the boulders whenever the canoe pivoted out of control, and scraping one’s shins, ankles and whatever else one landed on, against the granite. We had done the portage before with the small canoe, and the two Italians and I, knowing what lay ahead, spent several days dreading the hard work and pain. On the day we arrived at Arepuchi Falls we were primed to suffer and started off, grim-faced and hating every moment, to drag the thing over the rocks.
When it swung sideways, so heavy was the rogue pirogue, it several times pinned one of us to the burning rock until the others could move it off. A quarter of the way across, all ankles were bleeding. Partly by way of begging off for a minute, I jumped up on a high rock to photograph the scene. From my vantage point and momentary disinvolvement, I noticed a most interesting fact. Here before me were several men engaged in a single task. Two, the Italians, were tense, frowning, losing their tempers at everything, and cursing nonstop in the distinctive manner of the Tuscan. The rest, Indians, were having a fine time. They were laughing at the unwieldiness of the canoe, making a game of the battle, relaxed between pushes, laughing at their own scrapes and especially amused when the canoe, as it wobbled forward, pinned one, then another, underneath it. The fellow held bare-backed against the scorching granite, when he could breathe again, invariably laughed the loudest, enjoying his relief.
All were doing the same work, all were experiencing strain and pain. There was no difference in our situations except that we had been conditioned by our culture to believe that such a combination of circumstances constituted an unquestionable low on the scale of well-being, and were quite unaware we had any option in the matter.
The Indians, on the other hand, equally unconscious of making a choice, were in a particularly merry state of mind, enjoying the camaraderie; and of course they had had no long build-up of dread to mar the preceding days. Each forward move was for them a little victory. As I finished photographing and rejoined the team, I opted out of the civilized choice and enjoyed, quite genuinely, the rest of the portage. Even the barks and bruises I sustained were reduced with remarkable ease to nothing more significant than what they indeed were: small hurts which soon heal and which required neither an unpleasant emotional reaction such as anger, self-pity, or resentment, not anxiety at how many more there might be before the end of the haul. On the contrary, I found myself appreciative of my excellently designed body, which would patch itself up with no instructions or decisions from me.
After reading this I recalled my childhood. I was like these Indians – enjoyed every moment of my life. But over time unwittingly I had lost this wonderful state of my mood on self-pity and anger for no reason at all…
And you?
Posted in Children, Improving Quality of Life | Tagged Children, happiness, Indians, Jean Liedloff | 4 Comments »
Sometimes I will post some parts from the letters of women who dare to face the truth. I like their words because they are impressive, they come from the heart.
These are the thoughts of the woman who finally recalled that she is a woman:
“When I was 10 years old, I wanted all people to be kind and fair; in my 17th I dreamed about love, my Prince Charming and our future children; now I am 30, all I want is just money”.
Posted in Letters from Women | Tagged Children, love, Prince Charming, Woman | Leave a Comment »
Our world is based on harmony. There, where the balance is remained, beauty and life prevail. There, where the balance is broken, destruction and chaos dominate.
The same principle works with women. When an image of woman is in harmony with her desires, her desires come true. While when an image of woman contradicts her dreams, they don’t come true at all or they realize improperly.
The one, who understands it completely, can make all desires to come true. The idea is simple, but it requires time and efforts for awareness and practical use. Actually, I think only through practice the one can fully realize what it means.
Therefore, I will be explaining it bit by bit using examples and my life experience.
Let’s start with a very simple illustration.
When I studied at university, my friends and I liked to go to night clubs to have some fun after the boring days in classes. Once in one of night club my friend and I got into a conversation with one lady. She was a pretty, tidy, and joyful woman. In the middle of our pleasant chat she suddenly started to cry. Later she revealed her problem to us.
She was around 30 years old. The reason why she visited night clubs every weekend was … to find a husband. You see, she dreamt about a family and children. But men wanted only to have fun with her. As she said, she could get guys into her bed with no trouble but none of them wanted to have relationship with her.
Usually women like to wonder: “Oh, she is beautiful, educated, independent, and she cooks well. What do these men want?”
Well, if they do not want to get married to her, so they want something that they do not see in her!
After our conversation, I decided to watch how she behaved with men in that club. It was interesting to find out what was the problem!
The first thing that anyone would pay attention immediately was her sexuality. I would say – over-sexuality. She demonstrated her sexiness through her clothes, her manners, her eyes, her smile, her step, and her speech. Of course, it could arise in men only one longing!
Is it men’s fault if a woman displays them something far away from her true desire? Is it men’s guilt if a woman does not think about the importance of her image?
Men saw only a sexy and easy-to-get woman in this lady – she did not give them a chance to see in her a future wife and a future mother of their children.
I do not blame them. I personally did not see that too. She did not represent her true desires. She portrayed something else.
***
In our time it is in fashion to display sexuality. Therefore, some women do not take time to contemplate that in some cases they do not benefit from it. More than that this sexuality might lead them to the situation where they do not wish to find themselves.
Posted in Being a Genuine Woman, Improving Quality of Life | Tagged desires, harmony, image of woman, sexuality, Woman | 4 Comments »
Today I would like to talk about love. We hear and use this word in everyday conversations, movies, TV shows, newspapers, and literature, but all of us have our own “love” image based on childhood, culture, media, and life experiences.
In my childhood the word “love” had a very negative image. The members of my family rarely expressed this feeling toward each other. I felt that it was shame to love. When I liked someone from our neighborhood, I tried my best not to demonstrate it because I was afraid of being ridiculed. The same my brother did.
In my teenage years I began reading love poetry. There poets talked about this sensation in open and beautiful manner. Sometimes with pride. I accepted blindly their personal view on love.
From poetry I got the sense that love is pain, obsession, parting, being in distance, and unrequited feeling. As a result, I fell in love with boys who could give me what I unconsciously expected: boys from other cities; boys who did not pay attention to me; or even inaccessible adult men. I thought it was normal not be able to reach the object of my love.
I had a friend in university for which love meant exciting sex (her mother was obsessed with sex.) This girl always slept with a guy on the first date (as her mother did,) and only after that she could express if she was in love with him or not.
My other female friend considered love as the ability to take care of someone. She nursed every man she was with hoping he will change: providing money, encouraging continuing university, looking for a job for him, cooking and cleaning after him. She grew up with three younger brothers she had to take care of.
I can provide you with a number of illustrations displaying that love has different meaning for people with different backgrounds. I am sure you have your examples as well.
After years of contemplating on the subject of love, I came to the conclusion that satisfies me and gives me a chance to build my life the way I want: my relationships depend on how I interpret this word – that is which meaning I put into it – in addition to the unconscious patterns within me. This way of thinking prevented me from being influenced by patterns from childhood experience, books, movies, standarts, or personal opinions.
I will share with you a concise description of the “love” image I have created for myself (that is the way I live now):
First of all, love is when both partners can be happy being singly because they are self-sufficient personalities.
Second, a couple lives together to be doubly happier and to enjoy their company with each other. They respect and appreciate each other.
Third, they are connected to each other through the act of creation: their space of love, their home, their garden, their favorite occupation, and their children.
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Posted in Being a Genuine Woman | Tagged happiness, love, patterns of love, women | 22 Comments »
My dear readers, I just realized that I do not know much about you. I will be very glad to learn:
Who are you?
Where are you from?
Why are you interested in women’s issues?
Why do you read Genuine Woman blog?
What do you expect from it?
Especially, I would like to learn more about my female readers. I will appreciate deeply if you ponder with me on the next questions:
Are you happy as a female human being? If yes, how did you reach it? If not, what prevents you from becoming a happy woman?
Feel free to email me at ekaterinars@gmail.com or leave a comment below.
***
Besides I want to thank my unknown reader who cares about women and their lives. That is what he wrote on one website which I happened to discover:
“Men do not respect ladies who don’t respect themselves — it’s that simple. We use your kind as practice so we’ll be better men and more experienced lovers for the ladies we really hope to catch and hold on to.
In the end we want the same as ladies — lasting love and our counterpart. What you need to do is become one of those coveted women. Remember that you control the way men view you and the way they treat you.
Might I suggest these sites to put you on the path to being a lady guys would travel the world for — and not to sleep with, but rather to be with.
http://genuinewoman.wordpress.com/
http://theartofbeingfeminine.blogspot.com/“
Posted in Being a Genuine Woman | Tagged coveted women, happiness, question to ponder | 9 Comments »
It does not matter what you do,
it matters how you do it!
I received an interesting question which I consider as a topical issue in our time.
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“I have a question – it is on a different topic – do you want to have children?
Why do I ask? – because recently I have been encounting so many friends and acquaintances that either gave birth recently or pregnant and I feel so awkward – I realize that I am quite behind this matter, but what is more peculiar to me that I am not interested in this matter at all!!!
When people ask me “So, when are you going to have children?” – my first sincere thought is – “never”.
But being honestly – I am not ready, not physically and not morally.
But you know, people do not understand if I start talking like this…
See, I have all this to say, but at the same time this bothers me when I see other’s babies and all they talk about is – she/he does this, does that, etc …. There was some period and I got easily fascinated by children and the idea of having some, but not now, something has changed within me, I think I am going backwards towards childishness and some selfishness, not maturity in the broad and common understanding of this word.
That is why I ask you, I just need to hear somebody else’s opinion.”
***
Usually people tend to judge women when they hear something like that. A woman is supposed to have babies at the certain time. But what if she is not ready? Let’s count how many women are ready for being a mother before getting pregnant? Usually I see that ladies start thinking about it during pregnancy.
Having a baby is a very special moment for a woman, a man, and eventually for a baby. In order to bring a healthy and happy child to our world it is important to be prepared for that. 
I find it cruel for a future child to be born in a family when he (she) is not welcomed or parents have no idea what to do. Just imagine what children might feel when they come to our world undesired?
You might argue with me saying that usually during the pregnancy future parents start feeling different. Yes, they do. But what about the point of conception? A baby is conceived during the act of love. In some cases (when parents are conscious) a child is conceived before the act of love (in their thoughts) what creates a strong connection within family!
As well, it is meaningful:
Another matter that people do not think of is having sex with partners they do not even want to have any relationships and babies. Strange attitude to life… There is always a possibility that a woman can get pregnant. And then what?
I remember a while ago my father explained me that a woman keeps all information about her partners (do you know about telegony?), therefore I do not benefit from close relationships with men of whom I have a low opinion. I understood it very well and chose the best men as a husband.
But for some sex is not even a reason to get to know each other. Well, that is their choice.
I can only forewarn girls: if you waste your energy on a variety of partners, you might not have it enough later to attract a chosen man and to build happy relationships with him.
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Posted in Being a Genuine Woman, Letters from Women | Tagged birth, child, motherhood, pregnancy, relationship, telegony, Woman | 9 Comments »
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