It does not matter what you do,
it matters how you do it!
I received an interesting question which I consider as a topical issue in our time.
***
“I have a question – it is on a different topic – do you want to have children?
Why do I ask? – because recently I have been encounting so many friends and acquaintances that either gave birth recently or pregnant and I feel so awkward – I realize that I am quite behind this matter, but what is more peculiar to me that I am not interested in this matter at all!!!
When people ask me “So, when are you going to have children?” – my first sincere thought is – “never”.
But being honestly – I am not ready, not physically and not morally.
But you know, people do not understand if I start talking like this…
See, I have all this to say, but at the same time this bothers me when I see other’s babies and all they talk about is – she/he does this, does that, etc …. There was some period and I got easily fascinated by children and the idea of having some, but not now, something has changed within me, I think I am going backwards towards childishness and some selfishness, not maturity in the broad and common understanding of this word.
That is why I ask you, I just need to hear somebody else’s opinion.”
***
Usually people tend to judge women when they hear something like that. A woman is supposed to have babies at the certain time. But what if she is not ready? Let’s count how many women are ready for being a mother before getting pregnant? Usually I see that ladies start thinking about it during pregnancy.
Having a baby is a very special moment for a woman, a man, and eventually for a baby. In order to bring a healthy and happy child to our world it is important to be prepared for that. 
I find it cruel for a future child to be born in a family when he (she) is not welcomed or parents have no idea what to do. Just imagine what children might feel when they come to our world undesired?
You might argue with me saying that usually during the pregnancy future parents start feeling different. Yes, they do. But what about the point of conception? A baby is conceived during the act of love. In some cases (when parents are conscious) a child is conceived before the act of love (in their thoughts) what creates a strong connection within family!
As well, it is meaningful:
- to be able not to work when a mother bears a child
- to think in advance of the place where and how a child will be born. When a baby appears in a hospital room and a person who takes him first is a doctor (unknown person for the child), the child losses the first essential contact with mother and father. Therefore, future parents need to premeditate if they can arrange a birth at home in joyful atmosphere.
- to have only positive emotions before and during pregnancy
- and many other things…
Another matter that people do not think of is having sex with partners they do not even want to have any relationships and babies. Strange attitude to life… There is always a possibility that a woman can get pregnant. And then what?
I remember a while ago my father explained me that a woman keeps all information about her partners (do you know about telegony?), therefore I do not benefit from close relationships with men of whom I have a low opinion. I understood it very well and chose the best men as a husband.
But for some sex is not even a reason to get to know each other. Well, that is their choice.
I can only forewarn girls: if you waste your energy on a variety of partners, you might not have it enough later to attract a chosen man and to build happy relationships with him.
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