Letters

Sometimes I will post some parts from the letters of women who dare to face the truth. I like their words because they are impressive, they come from the heart.

These are the thoughts of the woman who finally recalled that she is a woman:

“When I was 10 years old, I wanted all people to be kind and fair; in my 17th I dreamed about love, my Prince Charming and our future children; now I am 30, all I want is just money”.

Share your opinion!

Goals and Barriers

Any goal can be achieved with difficulty and for a long time or in easy and fast way.

It is very important for women to understand why we need to reach goals in easy and fast way.

Constant stress, predominance of negative emotions, illnesses, and problems with men influence on women’s well-being – physical, emotional, and mental. Through women it influences on our future children. It influences on our future generation. Therefore, it has the main impact on the whole world.

Take a moment to think of it. Take a moment to realize the connection between the well-being of women and the well-being of the whole planet. It depends on us who our children will be. It depends on us what the future generation will be.

Now we will learn how to achieve goals simply and fast.

Take responsibility

First of all, we need to realize that everything what we have or do not have is the result of our behaviour and our patterns of thinking. We create any situations ourselves. Therefore, there is no one to blame. Instead of criticizing, blaming and resenting we need to take responsibility.

The acknowledgment of responsibility makes our life easy, interesting, and fulfilling.  We learn how to reach goals on our own and not to depend on external circumstances. On the contrary, these so-called circumstances start to benefit us.

Focus on the most important

Then it is crucial to be aware what the main thing is for you and always to be focused on it. Most of us do not take time to think of it. Many people pay attention only on the secondary things. That is the reason why they never achieve what they want or they do it slowly and go through a lot of problems.

For example, what is most important in preparation for the childbirth? Giving love and care to your baby or buying pretty infant clothes and furniture?

All we need to do is to sit down and think what is the most important.

Take actions

After we find out what the most important is, we need to act upon it. If we do not make steps, we do not move. You might find it silly that I pay attention to this, but for most of us taking actions is the very difficult thing to do. We usually find a variety of excuses why we can not do it right now. Instead of looking for possibilities – we look for excuses.

We all know these excuses: “I can’t do it now,” “I don’t know how to do it,” or “I will do it later.”

My answer is “if we do not make steps, we do not move.”

Reveal barriers

When we start doing something, we meet barriers which do not allow us to reach goals. Usually they are ridiculous and self-invented. For example, false opinions, illusions, fears, and many others.

The opinion that “all men are egoists” can not let a woman to build good relationship with her husband. Or the fear of meeting people can not let a woman to get a decent job.

In this case everyone has two choices: to discern barriers and then to achieve the goal easily and fast; or to give up and forget about dreams.

Self-education

The last thing I want to mention is a self-education. Self-education is a key to fulfilling life. The one who does not educate himself is like a donkey that goes where others lead him.

In order not to be a donkey, the one needs to question everything. Maybe I am just lying to you right now?

Share your opinion!

Sexuality

Our world is based on harmony. There, where the balance is remained, beauty and life prevail. There, where the balance is broken, destruction and chaos dominate.

The same principle works with women. When an image of woman is in harmony with her desires, her desires come true. While when an image of woman contradicts her dreams, they don’t come true at all or they realize improperly.

The one, who understands it completely, can make all desires to come true. The idea is simple, but it requires time and efforts for awareness and practical use. Actually, I think only through practice the one can fully realize what it means.

Therefore, I will be explaining it bit by bit using examples and my life experience.

Let’s start with a very simple illustration.

Sexuality, or the road that can lead you to nowhere

When I studied at university, my friends and I liked to go to night clubs to have some fun after the boring days in classes. Once in one of night club my friend and I got into a conversation with one lady. She was a pretty, tidy, and joyful woman. In the middle of our pleasant chat she suddenly started to cry. Later she revealed her problem to us.

She was around 30 years old. The reason why she visited night clubs every weekend was … to find a husband. You see, she dreamt about a family and children. But men wanted only to have fun with her. As she said, she could get guys into her bed with no trouble but none of them wanted to have relationship with her.

Usually women like to wonder: “Oh, she is beautiful, educated, independent, and she cooks well. What do these men want?”

Well, if they do not want to get married to her, so they want something that they do not see in her!

After our conversation, I decided to watch how she behaved with men in that club. It was interesting to find out what was the problem!

The first thing that anyone would pay attention immediately was her sexuality. I would say – over-sexuality. She demonstrated her sexiness through her clothes, her manners, her eyes, her smile, her step, and her speech. Of course, it could arise in men only one longing!

Is it men’s fault if a woman displays them something far away from her true desire? Is it men’s guilt if a woman does not think about the importance of her image?

Men saw only a sexy and easy-to-get woman in this lady – she did not give them a chance to see in her a future wife and a future mother of their children.

I do not blame them. I personally did not see that too. She did not represent her true desires. She portrayed something else.

***

In our time it is in fashion to display sexuality. Therefore, some women do not take time to contemplate that in some cases they do not benefit from it. More than that this sexuality might lead them to the situation where they do not wish to find themselves.

Share your opinion!

Patterns of Love

Today I would like to talk about love. We hear and use this word in everyday conversations, movies, TV shows, newspapers, and literature, but all of us have our own “love” image based on childhood, culture, media, and life experiences.

In my childhood the word “love” had a very negative image. The members of my family rarely expressed this feeling toward each other. I felt that it was shame to love. When I liked someone from our neighborhood, I tried my best not to demonstrate it because I was afraid of being ridiculed. The same my brother did.

In my teenage years I began reading love poetry. There poets talked about this sensation in open and beautiful manner. Sometimes with pride. I accepted blindly their personal view on love.

From poetry I got the sense that love is pain, obsession, parting, being in distance, and unrequited feeling. As a result, I fell in love with boys who could give me what I unconsciously expected: boys from other cities; boys who did not pay attention to me; or even inaccessible adult men. I thought it was normal not be able to reach the object of my love.

I had a friend in university for which love meant exciting sex (her mother was obsessed with sex.) This girl always slept with a guy on the first date (as her mother did,) and only after that she could express if she was in love with him or not.

My other female friend considered love as the ability to take care of someone. She nursed every man she was with hoping he will change: providing money, encouraging continuing university, looking for a job for him, cooking and cleaning after him. She grew up with three younger brothers she had to take care of.

I can provide you with a number of illustrations displaying that love has different meaning for people with different backgrounds. I am sure you have your examples as well.

After years of contemplating on the subject of love, I came to the conclusion that satisfies me and gives me a chance to build my life the way I want: my relationships depend on how I interpret this word – that is which meaning I put into it – in addition to the unconscious patterns within me. This way of thinking prevented me from being influenced by patterns from childhood experience, books, movies, standarts, or personal opinions.

I will share with you a concise description of the “love” image I have created for myself (that is the way I live now):

First of all, love is when both partners can be happy being singly because they are self-sufficient personalities.

Second, a couple lives together to be doubly happier and to enjoy their company with each other. They respect and appreciate each other.

Third, they are connected to each other through the act of creation: their space of love, their home, their garden, their favorite occupation, and their children.

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Tell me about yourself

My dear readers, I just realized that I do not know much about you. I will be very glad to learn:

Who are you?
Where are you from?
Why are you interested in women’s issues?
Why do you read Genuine Woman blog?
What do you expect from it?

 

Especially, I would like to learn more about my female readers. I will appreciate deeply if you ponder with me on the next questions:

Are you happy as a female human being? If yes, how did you reach it? If not, what prevents you from becoming a happy woman?

Feel free to email me at ekaterinars@gmail.com or leave a comment below.

***

Besides I want to thank my unknown reader who cares about women and their lives. That is what he wrote on one website which I happened to discover:

“Men do not respect ladies who don’t respect themselves — it’s that simple. We use your kind as practice so we’ll be better men and more experienced lovers for the ladies we really hope to catch and hold on to.

In the end we want the same as ladies — lasting love and our counterpart. What you need to do is become one of those coveted women. Remember that you control the way men view you and the way they treat you.

Might I suggest these sites to put you on the path to being a lady guys would travel the world for — and not to sleep with, but rather to be with.

http://genuinewoman.wordpress.com/
http://theartofbeingfeminine.blogspot.com/“

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Topical Issue

It does not matter what you do,

it matters how you do it!

I received an interesting question which I consider as a topical issue in our time.

***

“I have a question – it is on a different topic – do you want to have children?

Why do I ask? – because recently I have been encounting so many friends and acquaintances that either gave birth recently or pregnant and I feel so awkward – I realize that I am quite behind this matter, but what is more peculiar to me that I am not interested in this matter at all!!!

When people ask me “So, when are you going to have children?” – my first sincere thought is – “never”.

But being honestly – I am not ready, not physically and not morally.

But you know, people do not understand if I start talking like this…

See, I have all this to say, but at the same time this bothers me when I see other’s babies and all they talk about is – she/he does this, does that, etc …. There was some period and I got easily fascinated by children and the idea of having some, but not now, something has changed within me, I think I am going backwards towards childishness and some selfishness, not maturity in the broad and common understanding of this word.

That is why I ask you, I just need to hear somebody else’s opinion.”

***

Usually people tend to judge women when they hear something like that. A woman is supposed to have babies at the certain time. But what if she is not ready? Let’s count how many women are ready for being a mother before getting pregnant? Usually I see that ladies start thinking about it during pregnancy.

Having a baby is a very special moment for a woman, a man, and eventually for a baby. In order to bring a healthy and happy child to our world it is important to be prepared for that.

I find it cruel for a future child to be born in a family when he (she) is not welcomed or parents have no idea what to do. Just imagine what children might feel when they come to our world undesired?

You might argue with me saying that usually during the pregnancy future parents start feeling different. Yes, they do. But what about the point of conception? A baby is conceived during the act of love. In some cases (when parents are conscious) a child is conceived before the act of love (in their thoughts) what creates a strong connection within family!

As well, it is meaningful:

1. to be able not to work when a mother bears a child
2. to think in advance of the place where and how a child will be born. When a baby appears in a hospital room and a person who takes him first is a doctor (unknown person for the child), the child losses the first essential contact with mother and father. Therefore, future parents need to premeditate if they can arrange a birth at home in joyful atmosphere.
3. to have only positive emotions before and during pregnancy
4. and many other things…

Another matter that people do not think of is having sex with partners they do not even want to have any relationships and babies. Strange attitude to life… There is always a possibility that a woman can get pregnant. And then what?

I remember a while ago my father explained me that a woman keeps all information about her partners (do you know about telegony?), therefore I do not benefit from close relationships with men of whom I have a low opinion. I understood it very well and chose the best men as a husband.

But for some sex is not even a reason to get to know each other. Well, that is their choice.

I can only forewarn girls: if you waste your energy on a variety of partners, you might not have it enough later to attract a chosen man and to build happy relationships with him.

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Light Breathing

“Everybody knows how to die but there is need to learn how to live”

Once one lady had cured me of cold and fever just by saying few words – she put me to shame by pointing out that I was a lazy, spoiled girl who gave way to illness and behaved like a victim.

***

…My dear friends, all your heath problems are caused by your leniency: keeping yourself too warm, indulging too much with food, and being lazy. Don’t be afraid of the cold, it is energizing and boosts the immune system. Cold challenges the body with hormone of health. Think yourself, what is more important, your essence or small pleasures of life. There should be triumph after each undertaking. A human being should celebrate the triumph permanently or else, you are not worth a button. Why to treat diseases if you can and should not to let it overcome your body?!…

Porphyry Ivanov

Porphyry Ivanov was a unique healer and profound thinker, who had developed a teaching how to become healthy spiritually and physically. He realized the hopelessness of modern medicine that is based on medication and treats symptoms rather than the original causes of diseases.

His method called “Baby” (this way he spoke to others) consists of 12 simple steps that allow even a weak and unhealthy person to mobilize the immune system and bring to a good use all the potential resources of the body. It is based on the idea that every person can improve health, regardless of their level of fitness. Prior experience of exercising is not required, even if the person is weak or sick. It is important to believe in your potential and to let the nurturing forces of nature embrace you.

1. Two times a day, dip yourself in cold natural water and you will be fine. Use whatever sources are available: lake, river, bathtub; take a cold shower or dose yourself with cold water. This is the requirement. Finish up the hot bathing with the cold one
2. Prior to bathing or right after, maybe even combined with it, go outside bare footed and stay like that, on the ground or on the snow in winter for at least 1 or 2 minutes. Inhale the fresh air through your nose and make a mental wish for good health, for yourself and other people
3. Don’t drink alcohol and don’t smoke
4. Try not to eat or drink once a week, from Friday 6 PM until Sunday noon. This is your achievement and relaxation. If you can’t make it that long, try to do it for at least a day
5. Sunday noon go outside barefooted, take a deep breath, and wish for good health. Celebrate your life like that. You can indulge in eating whatever you like after that
6. Love the nature. Don’t spit around, and don’t spit at all. Get used to it as this is you health
7. Greet everybody anywhere you go, especially the elderly. If you want to be healthy, greet people around you (the word “здравствуй(те)” that Russians use for greeting each other means “be healthy”)
8. Help people with everything you can, especially poor people. Do it with joy. Respond to the need of a poor person with all the compassion of your heart and soul. You will find a friend and help the world
9. Overcome greediness, laziness, money-grubbing, fear, hypocrisy and pride. Trust and love people. Don’t bad-mouth them and don’t let yourself be influenced by ill comments
10. Cleanse your mind from thoughts about diseases, sicknesses and death. This is your victory
11. Don’t separate thought and action. If you read something, that’s good for you. But the most important is acting upon your knowledge
12. Tell the others about this method and share your experience but don’t show off or allow yourself to feel superior because of the knowledge. Be modest.

***

I personally do not take any medication for the last two years. In order to begin improving your health I would highly recommend to give particular attention to the last 4 steps (9 – 12) and to get closer to Nature.

If you have any questions, your personal stories that you feel need to share, or you want to learn more about improving your health, email me at ekaterinars@gmail.com.

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Light Breathing

“But do you know what the main thing is?

- The light breathing!”

Ivan Bunin

Let’s imagine a lady who wants to be attractive for men and takes her efforts to find a mate. What does she do? She recalls the tips that she heard on TV and read in magazines: she dresses up displaying her sexuality, makes use of make-up, perfectly arranges her hair, and then she directs her steps to the places where she can meet a future husband: night clubs, sport bars, golf, and gym.

Sometimes her relationships last one or two nights. Sometimes she meets someone who is not her Prince Charming, but at least he likes her.

She wishes to become something special. She wants to be interesting not for the short period of time. What does she overlook?

What is that thing that can make her exceptional for men? What is that thing that can make men to do everything to be with her?

Ivan Bunin, the Russian poet and short story writer, called it as the “light breathing” in one of his stories that I had a chance to read.

I was a young girl that time. I wanted to understand…no, not just understand. I wanted to feel what it means. Why is the “light breathing” the main thing in woman’s beauty?

I decided to explore this subject (I always try to figure out everything myself.)

I began watching girls and women. I paid attention how men reacted on their behaviour, manners, clothes, and speech.

I noticed that they could impress with their outward appearance or attract with big breast, slim figure, and other female part of the bodies. But I thought that all these things provoke sexual attraction in men, not exalted feelings. I was absolutely sure that Ivan Bunin meant something else…something that distinguishes an ordinary woman from an exceptional one.

I continued my search.

I got a sense of it for the first time when once I talked to a man who was in love with me. I asked him what makes me different from others. That what he answered:

I can tell you about usual things like body and hair. But that is not essential. I love your sincerity, openness, charm…Ya, charm is very important. As well, the light coming from your eyes and kindness – from your smile. The ability to listen to me carefully and understand me. Your tactfulness. Your great insight and wisdom. And I love that I can be myself with you.

Surprisingly…I had never thought about all these things at that time. It sounded so simple and complicated simultaneously.

It is simple when you follow your heart and feel what a man’s heart desires. But it is complicated when you pay attention only to outward attributes of beauty and invented instructions.

Ivan Bunin brilliantly described the “light breathing” this way:

How carefully some of her friends had their hair done, how cleanly they were, how they watched their restrained movements. But she was not afraid of anything – nor ink stains on her fingers, nor redden face, nor disheveled hair or bared knee when she fell down while running. Without any concerns and efforts everything that distinguished her from other gymnasium girls, had come to her – elegance, craftiness, serene glitter in her eyes…

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Causes of Your Problems

It is very easy to resolve any problem, when you know the original cause.

I will numerate them for you to understand what I mean.

Lack of skills

There is a variety of skills that are essential in our life:

• ability to interest someone and to be charming
• ability to create: happiness, strong relationships and friendship
• ability to create your image that would reflect who you are
• ability to manage your life

Another important skill that most women forget to develop is the ability to arouse man’s interest in serious relationships. They can inspire with current passion and lust, but nothing more. Of course, men are blamed for being scoundrels. Please, explain me: What have men got to do with it?

Baneful emotions, such as envy, jealousy, hate, pity … toward others and yourself

Ones who tend not to balance all these emotions always get into troubles. The Universe is fair! Baneful emotions make you waste a lot of life energy, while positive feelings enrich your heart and life.

Purity of intentions

To illustrate it, I will use the example of my aunt. She is a very kind and nice lady. She takes care of her daughter, grandchildren, relatives, and friends. But there is one “but”! She does this in order to be “good” and she expects from others to pay her back. But people, of whom she cares so much, do not appreciate her efforts. Of course, she blames them for that not even realizing that she cherishes others with a “wrong” reason.

Internal conflict within a person

There are women who complain that their partners do not want a child. If your partner does not want a child, ask yourself: Are you sure you want one? Is there anything (related to motherhood) bothers you? Your career? Unclear future? Responsibilities?

When you resolve your internal conflict, you will not have this issue with your partner.

Internal barriers

For instance, a woman wants to be beautiful but when she starts doing something toward her desire, there is something that does not let her do it. It can be shame, fear, or lack of self-confidence. All a person needs in this case is to step over the internal barrier.

***

What does not let you to live happily? When you will find out, be sure to let me know. I will rejoice for you!

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Another Aspect of Femininity

We are continuing our journey in the space of Femininity.

There is a very important aspect of femininity on which people usually do not pay attention. It is the ability to live without problems!

A feminine woman is a woman that enjoys her being without having troubles. And if something happens, she does not blame anyone, she simply resolves it effectively (that is spending a little of energy) as well she benefits from any uncomfortable situation.

***

Could you please answer me honestly: How many people can admit that the root of their problems lies within them?

Not in parents, not in partners, not in circumstances, not in the way our world is, not in the destiny…

Can you admit that?

***

Women (and people in general) who live with problems do not respect themselves. Why?

• Because they lie to themselves that they can not resolve their problems
• Because they do not live in happiness what is self-disrespect by itself

The original cause of all female problems lies within them. All a woman needs to do is to remove this original cause and problems will be gone automatically.

But many ladies prefer to live as it happens instead of admitting their mistakes and lack of effect. Of course, it is easier to complain to friends and psychologists about unfairness.

I will disappoint you: the Universe is fair. And it is the problem nature to grow if a person does not want to resolve it. More you postpone the problem solution, harder to deal with it later. It is not because the Universe is cruel to people. It is because the Universe teaches us through troubles. Think yourself: how else the Universe can show us that we do something wrong?

For instance, I abuse my eyesight spending too much time reading from computer screen. How can the Universe tell me to stop doing this to myself? Only through headaches, pain in my eyes, and visual impairment. If I will start wearing glasses and taking pills for my head, the problem will get worse … because I am ignorant – I do not learn anything!

The same applies to couples who carry worthless relationships for years but pretend that everything is fine and somehow the problem will disappear by itself. No, IT WILL NOT! Until they will learn their lessons.

As you understand, the Universe is generous to those who do not contradict it. The Universe is munificent to those who pay attention to the Universe signs and who learns their lessons.

It is the reason why I strongly believe that only a woman that lives without problems can be called Feminine!

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